i am warm and i am bored and i am drifting through this place it’s no better or worse than anything else that’s ever happened to me but i wish that i’d never met a lot of the people that i’ve met not because i don’t like them but because i only let them down and when you disappoint everyone all the time it’s hard not to want to die constantly i feel this weird and shameful feeling like im being watched by a thousand glowing, vengeful eyes behind one way mirrors in public bathrooms and in metro cars and everywhere i go i know i’m not welcome.
look how silly this is! oh my god? you have to like do— oh. oh, oooh. oh. oh, oh, oooh. ooooooooOOOOO. ooooka— arin, don’t leave..! arin doNT— aaaaAAARIIIIInnn, I LOVE OYOOOOOO— NO, IM FUCKIGN DONE!!!! IM F UCKING DONE!! no youre not! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!! im gonn a c— THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!!! wh i cant— i C ANT C GET OFF!! WHAT IS TH IS ?!?!??!??I CA NT GET OFF!!!! WH AT IS THIS??!?????IM STUCK!! WHAT IS M Y LIFE?? ahhAaAHHA— I CAN T DO IT , JOn>. I CANT EeE— I CANT FUCKIGN D O IT.,I TELL YOU W H AT ARIN, YOU CAN G I VE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN sEE IT OUt, BECAUSE I CERTIANLY CANT DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND I KNOW YOU CANT DO IT WITHOTU ME .i appreciate it, BUT LOOK AT WH AT WE’RE DEALING WITH MAN!!!ahha„ ARin-YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!! YOU GOTTA DRAW THE F UCKING LINE IN THE SAND, DUDE., WE GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. YOU GOOTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF A ND SAY,WWHAT AM I WILLING TO PUT UP WITH TODAY?? NOT FUCKING TH IS!!!!!! AaaaAAAA IM S U P ERMAN I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!! I BE LE ei eve, arin that was a beautiful little moment we just had. i think a both of us got a little heated? —a aaahh…— and we should apologize to each other. its because we’re in a lava stage, dude. —yUO JUST COME BA CK ALL CALM ‘its because we’re in a lava stage, dude.’ that was beautiful, arin, that was like poetry.
sorry for all the textposts but like i’m just so genuinely happy for all of the people that are close to me. god, a year ago i don’t think i ever thought i would reach this level of stability and just being content. like i’m still not ok but im getting there im honestly getting there